We
helpfully sent out a guide to figure out the red flags - the warning signs to
see if a partner is cheating on you. As unpleasant and absolutely horrifying as
the whole thing is, it is also essential to know exactly where you stand in a
relationship. But what if the worst happens? After that gut-wrenching feeling
of finding out that you are being cheated on, the oncoming nausea and the
spiralling down into misery, what next? You want to kill the guy out of pure
instinct but that's not going to get you anywhere (except jail).
Talk to
them when you are ready
The
first thing to do is not to ignore what is happening, it won't disappear if you
refuse to look at it. You need to process your feelings, see how you feel about
it, and after deciding how to confront the situation, talk to your partner. You
as a betrayed party in a solid relationship have the right to ask all the
questions you need answers to, but it is essential to go about this in a
constructive way. Unless of course you have decided you don't want to go ahead with
it. Then feel free to wreck his house with a baseball bat. Kidding. Maybe.
Don't
blame yourself
A lot of
people tend to feel like it is their fault that they were cheated on. False.
The onus of cheating is not on you, never was. You are who you are, and your
partner cheating is not a commentary on you but them. In a relationship, if
your partner felt like their need wasn't being met, they should have spoken to
you about it. What they did was go behind your back and that isn't healthy,
unnecessary as it to say.
Decide
where you want to head from here
You have
to make sure you don't rush the healing process. Once you are done talking to
your partner about what happened and getting all the information you need about
the whys, and the wheres, and all, you need to decide where to head from here
and how. Do you think you can trust them again? Do you think you will ever see
them the same way? Do you think it was a mistake? Or is it an unforgivable
instance? All these are questions you need to ask yourself. That is how you
move ahead in life.
